Subway Rides...A Comedians Best Friend

Today, for the third time since I started to regularly use the MTA two years ago, I became enraptured with a conversation someone on the subway was having with NOT me.

In today's case, the conversation was between a man and his lady companion.  Now this man had one of two possible problems.  Either he was a lunatic OR, he had absolutely no concept of what a joke is.  In either case he was incredibly amused with what he was telling his lady companion.  The story, or at least the part of it I hear, went as follows:

(read the story after the jump)

*Note:  In order to maintain the integrity of the story, it is essential you read this with a thick Italian American accent

"The bird said to the her, "I know it.  You're a serpent going after my eggs."  And she said "No, honest.  I'm a girl scout.  I'm just here to say hello."  And he's says "No.  No I know.  You're after my eggs!  You're a serpent!  You're a serpent."  She says "I'm not!  I'm not!"  The bird looks at her and says "Do you eat eggs?"  And she says she does and he says:  "See.  You're a serpent after my eggs.  I told you."  Now she laughs and says "I only eat eggs after they're cooked."  And the bird says:  "You're gonna cook my eggs and then eat them!"

And that was the end of the story.  He laughed, as did she.

As I have said, there are two possibilities.  It is possible he is simply a lunatic, as many who ride he subway are.  I am not entirely satisfied with this answer however, because subway lunatics tend not to be as well dressed, and don't often come with lady companions.  I suppose it's possible he was a lunatic who had kidnapped a random lady and stolen her boyfriends fancy clothes.  However, this is a bit of a stretch and leaves me with the guilt of being complicit in a kidnapping.

The second and far more likely of the two scenarios is that this gentleman was born without the ability to understand the mechanics of a joke.  To the rest of us "normals" we understand that a joke is comprised of a buildup and a punchline.  This can of course occur in many ways.  A punchline can be an unexpected turn of events or a play on words for example.  But it can't be argued that these two components, buildup and punchline, are essential to designating something someone says as a joke.  This story had a build up, certainly.  I was quite intrigued to hear the end of the story of the girl scout and the bird.  But then...the story just stopped.  He told the tory like it was leading up to a really funny ending.  And they REACTED like he had nailed the joke with a witty and hilarious ending.  But there was no end to be found.  Maybe it wouldn't have been funny, but it would have at least been a joke if the bird had said "In that case, I'l have mine scrambled."  Cause that is a punchline.  A very weak one, yes, but a punchline nonetheless.  Therefore, I can only conclude that this man was unaware of these mechanics, and thought that just using certain inflections made something a joke.

So followers of TheEdCress.  I challenge you to finish the poor mans joke with a punchline...cause "I'll have mine scrambled"  is the best I can come up with, and THAT is terrible.